better put 'em in quotations
by Kavi Leighanna
Summary: The six conversations Emily has with her BAU compatriots and the one she doesn't.


**I. Penelope Garcia**

If Emily's having a difficult day, she calls Garcia. The woman so rarely sleeps and she's always been so peppy and happy it boosts Emily's mood almost immediately. Sometimes, Emily misses that, so much. She misses getting information with a side of sass. Her analysts are geniuses, yes, but they're all too serious and socially awkward.

Sometimes, the conversations are superficial. 'I found the cutest pair of shoes' or 'I found the best leather jacket'. Garcia tells her the devastating story of losing her yellow-framed glasses - 'What am I supposed to wear with that bright yellow summer dress' which yes, Emily knows which dress Garcia's talking about - or breaking her favourite purple glasses and 'you know how long it took me to find a pair I liked'.

And then, sometimes, Emily gets the best kind of conversation. 'We saved a woman today', or 'we returned a husband to his wife and three kids'. Sometimes, they're goofy: 'we saved the world today' or 'the homeless of Kansas City can thank our illustrious heroes once again'. Emily's favourites though, absolute favourites, are the ones where the first thing out of Garcia's mouth is something like 'we saved a little girl today'.

Regardless of what they talk about, Garcia always signs off with a royalty reference - her favourite right now includes variations of 'Queen P' - and Emily always hangs up feeling like she could go out and conquer the world.

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**II. Alex Blake**

Alex Blake is not a new face. In fact, Alex is an old face Emily hasn't seen in years. They were never really friends when they'd met. Alex had kind of been the closest thing to a 'handler' on her way through the FBI briefing of JTF-14. She hadn't asked questions at the time, but she's pretty sure the sheer number of times she had to tell the Doyle story had been down right stupid.

Thing is, Alex had never asked. They'd been on a plane together back to the US, and Alex hadn't asked a single question. Not about Doyle. They talked about other things, like what Emily liked about the UK, what she was looking forward to in the US. If Alex could tell Emily had been plotting ways to make sure Declan was safely squirrelled away, the woman hadn't said anything.

Knowing about Alex's linguistic training now, Emily has to admit that she probably knew.

They were never friends. Not in the true sense of the term, but when they'd 'reconnected' after JJ's rescue, something had blossomed. It's kind of a strange friendship, actually, because it's built entirely on e-mails and phone calls that for all intents and purposes should not have happened. They shouldn't be friends. But they are.

They talk about anything and everything. Nothing deep, but it's almost like having a priest and a spy all at the same time. Alex isn't judgmental - they do kind of initially bond over Strauss' ladder-climbing ways before rehab - and Emily returns the favour. Alex tells her about the team, keeps her apprised of things they obviously don't tell her. Most importantly, Alex keeps her updated on Reid, who is the most closed off and the one Emily probably worries about the most. She's actually glad Alex is so close to him. He needs watching for, their genius.

It's a strange almost pen-pal-like relationship. Emily likes it, she thinks. She doesn't have many friends and while Emily can't say she'd necessarily confess her hopes and dreams to the woman, it's nice to get caught up on her family from a different point of view.

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**III. Spencer Reid**

When she talks to Reid, it's honestly mostly about Reid. Emily doesn't care. In fact, she's honoured more than anything else. Reid doesn't open up to just anyone, after all. Not that she'd ever given him much of a choice. She doesn't take crap, is the thing, so when he tried to take his anger at Gideon, at his father, at Tobias Henkle, out on her, she'd found careful and polite ways to tell him to shove it.

It's endeared her to him, she knows.

They talk about mundane things. "Did you see the new casting for Twelve?" "I'm excited to see how he's going to interact with Clara." Or "Have you read _The Future of the Mind_?" "Reid, do you have any idea how many briefs I have to read in a day?"

Like Alex, she gets updates about the team too. "Morgan and Garcia are fighting again. I think it's her fault this time." and, "Hotch is working too hard. I'm pretty sure when I went to take him my paperwork he'd been napping on his couch." When it comes to Rossi it's more about little things, like spending time in the ex-Marine's closing bar, "He was really sad, Emily." When he talks about JJ, he talks about Henry, about tobogganing and babysitting - "I never thought I'd be babysitting! Who trusts me with a child? Children hate me." "Henry doesn't. He loves you."- When it comes to Alex, it's mostly almost fanboy gushing. It makes Emily smile. "She says I should take the chance, should ask her out, but what if she doesn't like me?"

Sometimes, they are more serious. The times he worries about being liked, the times he worries that his genius is breaking friendships. The times he thinks that his genius is broken. She never lets him forget that he's human. Genius or not, he's a man, and that means he's going to mess up, he's going to make mistakes, and there isn't a single member of the BAU that is willing to ask of him more than he's willing to give. They may take it out on him when they're under a ridiculous amount of pressure, but Emily knows for a fact that Reid holds a soft spot in each team member's heart.

And talking to him, listening to his stories, helps her believe that he is well taken care of.

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**IV. Derek Morgan**

She and Morgan don't talk often. They're friends, close friends, but interestingly, topic-specific friends. When she and Morgan talk, it's not about work. They don't trade training tips; it's about relationships.

Emily stills sucks at them. Her interpersonal relationship skills with the opposite sex are pretty much utterly abysmal. She's fine when they're professional connections, but even the self-confidence of her years in the BAU can't help her. Morgan can be utterly clueless for a man that mangiest to date as many women as he does.

"If he doesn't appreciate all of you then he's not worth your time, Emily. _Slaughterhouse Five_ is classic literature."

"Derek, you can't expect her to work her schedule around yours all the time. We both know how that works."

"Bowties are ridiculous, don't listen to Garcia."

"Platform heels? Because she can't stand being shorter than the guy she's with? The crazy sex clause doesn't hold here."

Sometimes, it's heavier and thank God she'd worked with him as long as they had. She's much clearer in the way she expresses her relationship-related frustrations. He forces her to read between the lines. She doesn't care, she's used to it.

It becomes difficult when a hookup she had never expected turns into something entirely different. It's too delicate for her to want to divulge all of the secrets and she's fiercely protective of it. He pokes, he proves, but she absolutely refuses. Instead, she makes him tell her about his botched Valentine's Day turned double date.

She smiles as he spills it all.

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**V. David Rossi**

She and Dave talk pretty rarely given how close they were in when she worked for the BAU. There are things that she talks to Dave about, intimacies she doesn't grant anyone else. Honestly? It's a habit thing. He's always been able to tell when something's off with her and she's basically always managed to return the favour. It hasn't changed with her move across the Atlantic. If anything, it's more intense now that there's distance and they can't always see the immediate reaction. Well, and Dave calls more than Skype or Facetime.

Really though, when she talks to Dave, he reminisces. She hears stories about the old days in the BAU while she folds her laundry, and scrubs her kitchen clean while he tells her about his days in the Marine Corps. He tells her about his second and third ex-wives when she has bad dates and is left sprawled over her couch, knees over the arm, shoes haphazardly on the floor beneath her dangling feet.

But then there are times that are more than that. Sometimes, and she can hear it in his voice when they connect, he talks about the things that really matter. He tells her about life with Carolyn, about the fact that he can still hear her sometimes, or feel her near. Sometimes, he tells her about what it's like to mourn Erin Strauss as well and while Emily can't say she's really forgiven the woman for the problems she perpetuated as Section Chief, she's compassionate enough to respect the grief Dave's obviously still experiencing.

She tells him about the hook up she also accidentally tells Morgan. The thing about Dave though, is that he has this magical Italian voodoo – it's not BAU practice, she knows that – and has her telling him way more than she'd expected. She thinks it's just because she's shared intimate details with him before – Benton and her abortion and her history with the Catholic church. Regardless, she finds herself spilling little things.

"Sometimes he's so busy I don't hear from him for weeks," or "It's a long distance thing that wasn't supposed to happen." She also tells him, "His job is extremely demanding," or "He's a single father and wants to spend as much time with his son as possible." When Dave asks how Emily feels about that, she tells him honestly that it wasn't meant to be anything. It's evolved, she thinks, and she's not the only one that's helped it along in doing so. He seems just as into it as she does and it's both surreal and dangerous, she knows.

Dave makes sympathetic noises, but, as usual, keeps his more controversial opinions to himself.

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**VI. Jennifer Jareau**

JJ is her very best friend. She adores the woman, they've been through so much together. Cheetah Girl single-handedly got her through some of her worst days in Paris and Emily knows that JJ's probably told her more than she should have about her work at the "DOD". Actually, it comes very much in handy when she has to rush back to the US to rescue her best friend's skinny butt.

When they talk, it's about anything and everything. When it comes to JJ, Emily books two or three hours out of her day to make sure that it's all she does. They talk about Henry and about Will, about how Emily's two steps from taking over the world via Interpol and about how Emily's adjusted to London after living in DC for years.

Emily tells her that it's different, that there are cultural differences – "Tea, JJ. Sometimes a girl just needs her coffee" – but that there is a stability here she hadn't been feeling in Washington. It's not that she didn't love it, it's just been tainted, she thinks. Her entire sense of safety had been violated and while Doyle is kind of like her claim to fame, it's not like she doesn't have a handful of other enemies she made while originally at Interpol. Part of it is personal, part of it is that she doesn't want to ever put her family in that much danger again.

The thing about JJ though is that she's perceptive. More than that, she's almost nosy, but she has this way of going about it that Emily doesn't realize it's happening until long after JJ knows all of her secrets. Which is why, when they're Skyping one day, JJ narrows her eyes.

"Something's different."

Emily blinks and curses the fact that she knows there's a strange blush staining her cheeks. "No."

"Yes."

Emily bites her tongue against the lie. It's not that she doesn't want to tell JJ, it's just it's still so fragile. She hasn't told anyone. Stupid JJ and her stupid knowledge of everything Emily.

"You have a man!" the blond exclaims. "Who? You're always telling me you don't have time, or they have big ears and terrible teeth."

Emily winces. She hates that stereotype, but she knows people who make it unfortunately and unbearably true. Still, she avoids most of JJ's questions. She's vague, she's good at it, and she finds ways to steer away from answering every question in detail and thankfully, as her best friend, JJ knows when Emily's deliberately avoiding things.

Still, once Emily's given all of the information she's comfortable with, she lets out a sigh. "I don't know. It's stupid."

"That you finally have someone who's there for you?"

"But he's not, Jayje. I told you, it's a long distance thing. We don't see each other very often."

"Blake doesn't see her husband often either. It's actually what makes them work."

"There's a fine line," Emily argues. "Sometimes I don't like coming home to an empty flat."

JJ murmurs her sympathy, but it's not as sincere as it could be. Emily knows it's not malicious, it's just that JJ's glad she has someone. It's been a thing of JJ's for a while. Emily's good at isolating herself. JJ's become really good at pulling her out of that.

And so even though JJ's asking questions Emily has carefully avoided asking herself, it doesn't feel painful. It feels like warmth and sympathy and compassion and home. Like someone cares, no matter what.

Her best friend is pretty amazing.

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**I. Aaron Hotchner**

If she's honest, she has no bloody idea how it started.

He'd come to London. Not to visit her, for something else, but it had seemed absolutely stupid for her to avoid him while he's in her city. The same must hold true for him because they meet up and West End restaurant to have dinner. Dinner turns to drinks and they end up back in his hotel room. She isn't sure how that happens either, but she knows she wasn't incomprehensibly drunk.

She wakes up the next morning curled into him. They agree that while it had been phenomenal it's a mistake. There's such a distance between them and while they're both glad they finally got that out of their systems – which is a hell of a discovery in itself – it's too much stress and pressure to make anything else out of it. He leaves a few days later and she doesn't think much of it.

Except then she's in DC. Well, she's there in the Pentagon to liaise with the US Interpol office. It's basically a bunch of meetings, the gathering of the gateway office runners. She's bored and irritated by day two and while she's ridiculously busy, she makes the trek into the city. She doesn't tell anyone else she's there, but she and Hotch meet in Alexandria. This time, they go back to her hotel and repeat their London night.

In the morning, they agree again that they can't make anything permanent out of it. But it keeps happening. By the fifth time, they're not making pretenses of business. By the ninth, they've done away with hotels. He spends the weekend at her flat and she takes a handful of days off around Easter and they meet in Boston. They don't tell anyone. They don't acknowledge that it's no longer a string of one night stands.

It's more.

But they don't talk about it. They talk often, about Jack and her work and his work and Easter – the person this time, not the holiday – about Jessica, and Elizabeth because Emily's reconnected rather solidly with her mother after her 'death'. They don't talk about what they're doing. They don't talk about how they're both coming to rely on it. She knows that because he'll call her mid-case sometimes and she can hear the stress in his voice. By the end of it, she knows he doesn't feel so bad.

They don't talk about them, and for the first time in her perfectly planned little life, Emily's really glad there are no definitions.

* * *

_This is how Kavi finishes fic, do-dah, do-dah. _

_No, I'm really happy. I've been putting this off for a while because there's been so much that managed to come crashing down on me in the past seven days. I'd meant to finish this last weekend, but wow, there can be a whole slew of things that get in the way in the meantime. It's scary how that works. _

_For those of you that read pieces of this on Tumblr, yes, the order is quite obviously different. I had to smooth a few things over because of the progression of the story (which I didn't mean to happen, gracious that needs to stop) so the order had to change. _

_Hope you enjoyed! _


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